TRADITIONS

Traditions of Germany

• Tom Hirsch • Season 2019 • Episode 8

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TRADITIONS

Podcast Show Notes

Date: Saturday, May 25, 2019

Episode:   008

Title:   TRADITIONS

Subtitle:      Traditions of Germany

Length:            00:24:25

Final Show Link:   http://TRADITIONS.buzzsprout.com

In this episode of Traditions we visit Germany, a land rich in colorful heritage and customs. 

 If you are a new listener to TRADITIONS, we would love to hear from you.  Please send email to: Feedback@YourSpecialDay2.com  and let us know how we can help you today!

 In this episode we discuss:

●     The marriage of German brides from birth to honeymoon.

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 This episode’s question is:

Q.        How do traditions differ between Germany and Austria? 

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Episode #:                                               008

Publication Date:                               May 28, 2019

Episode Length:                                  00:24:25

Host:                                                      Tom Hirsch

URL:                                                       http://TRADITIONS.buzzsprout.com

Show Transcript:                                       www.Your-Special-Day.net/TRADITIONS/

Your Comments:                                       Tom@Your-Special-Day.net


. . . . . . . and welcome to Episode008 of TRADITIONS. Here’s a little hint about where we’ll visit in this episode.

Before I go on - - - I hope you’ll make allowances for my German pronunciation. I struggled long and hard with many of the Hebrew words we encountered visiting Jewish traditions. German pronunciation presents its own unique challenges for us Yankees. Fortunately, a lot of the grammar is similar between English and German.

That said - - - I recently officiated a wedding for a delightful couple who have deep roots in Germany. Being of German descent myself, it was fun meeting and talking with them about customs and traditions of der Vaterland. 

And in Episode 007 we talked about how the Irish like to party. Well - - - it’s a “horse race” between the Irish and the Germans. German wedding celebrations can last several days and include a wealth of rituals and customs that will make the marriage memorable for any couple of Teutonic heritage. Truth be told, preparations for a German girl’s wedding historically begin at the time she is born. 

Traditionally, when a baby girl’s born, the parents, and eventually the little girl herself, will save pennies used to buy her future wedding shoes. This tradition’s meant to ensure that the marriage will start off on “the right foot.” On the day of the wedding, the bride's mother puts dill into her daughter's right shoe for luck.

Furthermore, also shortly following her birth, several trees are planted in honor of her birth. When her wedding date’s set, the trees are sold, and the money’s used for her dowry.

An important fact to remember is that the German population is heavily influenced by Catholicism. So many of their traditions and rituals arise from the Church.


When the time comes for the young woman to be married the Hochzeitslader ---- a custom of Bavarian origin - - - has the honor of inviting the guests to the wedding. Rather than mail out invitations, the Hochzeitslader is sent around to personally invite each guest to the wedding. He dresses in fancy attire adorned with ribbons and flowers. As the official inviter, he goes around the village from door to door extending a personal rhyming invitation to all on the guest list. The way that guests accept the invitation is to pin one of the ribbons from the Hochzeitslader's attire onto his hat. Then they are to invite him into their homes to share a drink or two. When the guest list is long, this ritual can take a couple of days to complete! And Herr Hichzeitlader better have a string stomach and a high tolerance for alcohol!  But - - - then he IS German!

Another tradition --- very similar to those of many cultures around the world --- is the junggesellenabschied, (also known as the bachelor party), in which the groom and his friends hit the pubs for a “last bash” before he gets married. One of the requirements of the groom-to-be is that, along the party-hopping way, he must sell things like shots or condoms to people that he meets on the street, carried about on a little tray. This sounds like another “high-tolerance” activity ---- especially for the bride-to-be!

Due to an old German law, the application for the marriage license usually must be hung out at a public building for at least one week so that the general public is informed. Non-residents can make other arrangements through an international registry office. Sounds akin to the Catholic tradition of publishing “wedding banns” for three weeks prior to the marriage.

If you’re to be married in Germany but are not German, it’s imperative that you become familiar with German wedding laws. Some of the more important points are summarized at the end of this show’s transcript that can be found on our sponsor’s web site:  www.Your-Special-Day.net/TRADITIONS 

As in much of Europe, a German religious officiant cannot legally marry two people. The official, state-sanctioned service must be performed by a justice of the peace, called a standesbeamte. The civil ceremony, which makes the union legal, is performed in the town’s Registry office. This is usually a small ceremony, attended only by the bride and groom with their immediate family and, perhaps, closest friends. The bridal couple will dress well, but simply. It’s usual for the bride to wear a simple dress to her civil ceremony, although if a larger church wedding will follow, she may opt to wear a white wedding gown. At the conclusion of the civil ceremony, the newlyweds and their witnesses often share a meal together. But this is just the first round of celebration and merriment. As I said earlier, German weddings traditionally last several days and involve lots of fun and games for all. If not immediately, within a few days of the civil ceremony, most couples will have a large church wedding with a reception to follow.

German tradition is not without its share of rituals warding off evil spirits. The next step is the polterabend ---- literally meaning “eve of making a racket.” Many of the wedding customs which we have discussed involve making noise to scare away evil spirits. In Germany, one way this is achieved is during the polterabend. The night before the church wedding, the bride and groom have an informal gathering with their friends, family, and neighbors. China dishes are smashed to bits, with the idea that it’ll bring good luck to the bride and groom. It’s important to note that only china and porcelain are used, never glass; breaking glass is considered bad luck. The breaking of the china during the polterabend also symbolizes that, while some dishes may break, the marriage never will. Once the smashing is over, the bride and groom work together to clear away the shards, which signifies how well they will work together as a team during their marriage.

In many ways church weddings commonly following the small civil ceremonies are similar to American church weddings, but with some clear distinctions. One main difference is that the bride and groom process up the aisle together. They’re already officially married at this point, so it wouldn’t make much sense for the bride's father to “give her away” to the groom. Plus, there are usually no bridesmaids or groomsmen processing down the aisle in a German ceremony; although some couples may opt to have a flower girl, who will wear a pretty dress and a wreath of flowers. And be prepared for this religious ceremony to last an hour or more, including sermons, singing, and a Nuptial Mass ---- if the couple is Catholic. 

Another variation involves the wedding party. While Americans generally have a whole gaggle of groomsmen and bridesmaids to escort the happy pair along the procession, Germans tend to just have one trusted person each. 

The Trauzeuge --- or “wedding witness” --- has an important role throughout the process. This is usually a close friend or relative, and they might do things like plan the bachelor stag or help kidnap the bride (more on that later). 

On her wedding day a typical German bride will often wear a white heirloom gown, or one from an older sister or her mother, but long trains are rare. Ballroom style wedding gowns without trains are popular. The over-the-top fairy princess style sought by so many American brides is not the norm in Germany. Fingertip veils are the most common length, although floor length veils are sometimes worn by Catholic brides. If the bride does choose to wear a veil, she will keep it on at least through the first dance at the reception following the ceremony. In lieu of a veil, she may elect to wear an elaborate wedding crown constructed of wire, tinsel, artificial flowers, pearls, ribbon and pins. It’s bad luck to try on someone else’s crown, or take her own off before midnight, when it’s replaced by a bonnet. Grooms traditionally wear black suits or tuxedos. 

Popular flowers for the bride's bouquet are roses, orchids, and lilies-of-the-valley. May is an especially favored month for German weddings, which also happens to be the time when lilies-of-the-valley are in season. The bride might also carry a long length of white ribbon with her bouquet, which serves a special purpose after the ceremony. Most brides carry a little draw string purse down the aisle; and many also wear gloves. It’s customary for a German bride to carry a little salt and bread in that purse, which is intended to bring a good harvest. The groom then carries a bit of grain to bring good luck and wealth. Superstition reigns supreme . . . . and, after all, remember America is, relatively speaking, still in its infancy when compared to the millennial history of Europe ---- most of that history being heavily agrarian. 

Something very different about German courtship is that when a couple becomes engaged, the woman does not wear a diamond engagement ring! The newlyweds wear matching simple wedding bands once wed, and they are worn on the right hand, not the left. 

Another entertaining wedding custom is a little game which takes place between the bride and groom on the altar. At some point during the church service when the couple is kneeling, the groom will intentionally kneel on the bride’s gown as a funny way of indicating that he will “wear the pants” in the marriage. Before anyone takes offense at this, you need to know what comes next: when the couple is instructed to stand up again, the bride will take care to step on the groom's foot, to let it be known that she’ll hold the upper hand! 

As the newlyweds exit the church, they may find their path blocked by ribbons strung across the door. The groom is expected to “ransom” their way free by promising a party to the door-blockers. 

Something else to watch for right at the end of the church ceremony is the baumstamm sägen where a log is set out on sawhorses in front of the church. The bride and groom are required to saw through the log together as an example of their teamwork; how well they work together to complete the task is supposed to be a sign of how well they will work together at other chores during their marriage. These days it’s possible to purchase logs specifically prepared for wedding sawing.

In an ancient custom of many cultures, as the newlyweds head down the steps of the church, they’ll be showered with rice ---- symbolizing fertility. Legend has it that every grain of rice that sticks in the bride's hair represents a future child. Oh my!

Once the log is sawed and the rice is tossed, it’s time for the newlyweds to make their way to the reception. As the couple walks to their car after the ceremony, the path is laid with fir boughs to symbolize hope, luck, and fertility. The car or carriage is decorated with beautiful flowers, and the white ribbon that the bride carried in church is cut into lengths and distributed to the wedding guests. They, then, tie the piece of ribbon to the antenna of their car before heading off to the reception with a flurry of happy honks (remember how wedding customs involving lots of noise are intended to drive off evil spirits and bring good fortune; this is the modern variation). Cars passing by will honk back for good luck. 

Again, German wedding receptions are all-night parties. The party begins with the cocktail hour, during which cakes, coffee, and tortes are served while the newlyweds have their pictures taken. A German bride stays in her wedding dress all day, not only a few hours as often happens in America.

Next comes the wedding dance --- or --- which is traditionally a waltz. Then the bride will dance with her father and the groom with his mother. Later, the party will have their formal dinner. A traditional dish is the hochzeitssuppe, or wedding soup, which is made of beef, dumplings, and vegetables. Of course, the beer and wine flow freely all night long! 

The German bride will toss her bouquet to single women during the party, but another, more German tradition, is the Schleiertanz --- or “veil dance.” This involves taking the bride's veil and having the couple dance under it. When the music ends, single women will try to rip off pieces from it and whoever gets the biggest piece is said to be the next to marry. Another variation has people throwing money into the veil while the couple dances, buying themselves a dance with one of the newlyweds. Sounds a little like the American “Dollar Dance,” doesn’t it? A third alternative involves the bridegroom, best man, and bridesmaids dancing around the blindfolded bride. She must catch a bridesmaid (who will be the next to marry). Married women then tie the bridal bonnet on this maid, who must dance with all the bridegroom’s male relatives around three lit candles on the floor. 

As in American weddings, German couples will have a special cake at their reception which they cut together ---- usually at midnight. It's said that whomever has their hand on top during the slicing is the one who "wears the pants" in the relationship. Knowing this, the couple may end up playfully fighting over their hand positions ---- as if the horseplay during the marriage ceremony didn’t settle the matter. I once heard a story about another way to resolve that question - - - - but that’s a story for another time and place!

The traditional German wedding cake is a rich nut or sponge cake soaked in liqueur or syrup. Filled with jam, marzipan, or nougat and frosted in fondant or ganache, this is a much richer cake than the classic white cake found in America. Something else quite different is that German wedding cakes are not made in fanciful colors to match the wedding decorations; artificial colors are considered very tacky on a wedding cake in Germany. Another option for a bride is to serve a Baumkuchen, also known as the King of Cakes. This is a very special dessert that’s difficult to make, which is why it’s reserved for special occasions. The baker creates perfectly round cake rings by baking them on a rotisserie, before layering and frosting the confection. The Baumkuchen is sometimes called a “Tree Cake,” because the layers of golden rings look like a tree when it’s cut. 

Toasting and speeches are started by the fathers of the bride and groom. At some weddings, the happy couple will share a toast

from a bridal cup called the brautbecher. This is a special crystal or pewter cup made in the form of a maiden holding a cup over her head. The cup is on a hinge so it can swivel, and the maiden's skirt is also a cup to hold wine or Champagne. In a game called “Who Rules the Nest?”, the bride and groom simultaneously drink from the brautbecher, the bride from the cup and the groom from the skirt. The idea of the game is that whomever finishes their drink first will rule the nest; typically the bride wins, as her cup is smaller. It’s also another good example of teamwork. It’s not so easy for two people to drink cooperatively from the same cup at the same time without spilling. Will this contest NEVER end?

Pranks and games abound at a German wedding. One that may take place during the reception, includes the bride being “kidnapped” by some of the guests and spirited away to a nearby pub (this mostly takes place only in small village weddings). The groom is then required to go and find his new wife, and when he does, he must pay the accumulated bar tab of the kidnappers to procure her freedom! One handicap for the “kidnappers” — they can’t forget the bridal bouquet when taking away the bride. Otherwise, the groom can release the bride from her “captivity” with the bouquet and the best man is stuck with the tab.

Some of the couple’s same mischievous friends may also do things to their bridal suite. Many German newlyweds arrive at their honeymoon suite after dancing away the night only to find the bed has been taken apart, the room filled with balloons, or many alarm clocks are hidden around the room. 

After recovering from the excitement of the wedding, most German newlyweds will head off on a honeymoon for a week or two to unwind and celebrate their new marriage. And remember we talked about the derivation of the honeymoon when we discussed toasting with mead at an Irish wedding.

And that whirlwind rendition sums up the marriage celebration in Germany. In a moment I’ll give you the information about how you can comment on this or any past episode of TRADITIONS. Thanks for being with us for this eighth episode of TRADITIONS . . . . .

Resources:

https://owlcation.com/humanities/German-Wedding-Customs

https://www.thelocal.de/20160613/10-things-you-need-to-know-before-attending-a-german-wedding

https://germanculture.com.ua/german-traditions/german-wedding-traditions/

https://germanculture.com.ua/how-to-in-germany/how-to-saw-a-log/

https://germanculture.com.ua/german-traditions/german-wedding/

https://germanculture.com.ua/german-traditions/german-wedding-tips/

https://germanculture.com.ua/german-traditions/getting-married-in-germany/

https://germanculture.com.ua/german-traditions/wedding-traditions-in-germany/

https://theculturetrip.com/europe/germany/articles/unusual-wedding-traditions-from-germany/

https://www.beau-coup.com/german-wedding-traditions.htm

https://germanfoods.org/german-food-facts/german-wedding-traditions/

https://weddedwonderland.com/7-german-wedding-traditions-you-didnt-know-about/

Important Matters Regarding Marriage in Germany

  •      To check local embassy and the local magistrate’s office (Standesamt);
  •      To apply for what documentation is needed (usually: a birth certificate (with the stamp), a passport stamped with proof of residence (Aufenthaltserlaubnis);
  •      A health certificate;
  •      A statement of parental consent (if a party is under 18);
  •      A certified translation (Apostille) of all the documentation if it is not in German provided by the Deputy Secretary of State;
  •      A single certificate (Ledigkeitbescheinigung), proving that there are no impediments to the marriage as both bride and groom are single;
  •      In case of previous marriages to present either a death certificate for the former spouse or proof that the marriage was permanently dissolved by divorce;

Important to note:

  •      A simple divorce decree from an American or British court is usually not enough. A statement to this effect from the court that granted the divorce is needed.
  •      If one will be having a church ceremony after the official wedding, baptism certificates and a Certificate of Dismission are needed; it allows to get married outside of one’s county if one is Catholic.
  •      For same sex marriages, this is allowed in Germany. In Germany, gay couples have pretty much the same rights as heterosexual couples do. Cousin marriages are also allowed in Germany.
  •      It can be difficult for non-German citizens to get married in Germany. The best way to go about getting married in Germany is to have a professional wedding agency arrange it for you. Wedding agencies are aware of all the requirements and can take a load of added stress off of you.
  •      It’s worth mentioning, that the state wedding rooms are usually nice, they are usually located in one of the community’s finer buildings. The right atmosphere is created with flowers, subdued lighting, oil paintings and deep carpeting. Germany has many magnificent cathedrals, palaces and castles that offer wedding arrangements. In large cities there are some special agencies, renting out the clothing necessary for the wedding and all the attributes needed. Wedding coaches, drawn by four white horses, are also available as well as antique cars, limousines and the like. There are services dealing with the organization of the wedding holiday, taking into consideration one’s will and possibilities.